Five Lessons I’ve Learned Being a Boudoir Photographer

Meet Marissa! She is the owner of the The Boudoir Divas, and the amazing mind behind the Boudoir International site! Every Monday, Marissa is going to share with you a few tips for both photographers and clients of boudoir! Get ready for some amazing knowledge!

Marissa Talks Monday:

I have been in this industry for 15 years, and for better or worse, I absolutely love what I do! There are so many life lessons I’ve learned along the way, but today I just wanted to share five huge lessons I’ve learned as a boudoir photographer!

To be an extrovert. I was born an introvert. I wanted to be able to able to engage with other people easy. Despite my introversion, I am a natural leader. These things can be conflicting. Confusing even! When I was a highschool freshman moving into sophomore year, ALL of my friends made it to varsity cheer. I was the only person left on JV. I was shy, I lacked connection to my coaches and most importantly I lacked a standing back tuck ??‍♀️. But here’s what did happen – to my own confusion, I was made captain. Me? But I’m so shy!!! That’s what i thought.I was put in a position to lead people, teach them, encourage them, critique them. I learned that community and connection was wired in me through ENCOURAGEMENT. Fast forward decades later, it’s not surprising to me that my job is still to encourage and coach women. Whether coaching my clients in a boudoir pose, or coaching other photographers, I am incredibly grateful to them (and photography in general) for allowing me an opportunity to remain extroverted and engaged in this beautiful community.

Marissa Boucher of the Marissa Talks Monday & New Boudoir Divas in San Diego, California, talks about five lesson she's learned being a boudoir photographer!

2. Energy is everything. My energy can affect all the energy around me. Years ago I got a fortune in my cookie that I’ve carried in my wallet since. “Enthusiasm is infectious, stimulating, and healing to others.” It’s been one of the biggest blessings in my life to walk into a photo shoot and know that my energy can boost a brand new friend in a huge way.

3. Everyone has a story. Something they want to share. More behind the curtain. Whether they want to share it with us or not, it doesn’t matter. They do. You do. We do. Whether it’s a beautiful celebration, or painful event, or a thousand tiny twists and turns that lead them (or you) to you a boudoir shoot…. their story is important. And now I am a part of it.

4. It’s okay to be vulnerable. In fact — it’s good to be vulnerable. The more vulnerable I am with a client, the more they open up and feel comfortable. The more that I become a part of their story.

5. I love my body and being because of boudoir. Confidence is the wrong word. It’s peace. Acceptance. After doing this for 15 years, I have come across every type of woman. Two types have affected me the most: The first being the outrageous fit, perfect (in society’s standards) lean, tall supermodel-isa goddess that is incredibly hard on herself. Who like only the photos where she feels like she is flawless. From her, I have learned that perfection is mirage. It’s something we chase and as hard as we work never arrive at. And sometimes in the chase we lose appreciation for this body that has housed us. The other type of women is opposite of her. She is the full figured, (society calls her “plus size”) and I’ve seen her walk into our studio with total peace and appreciation for her body. I’ve seen her rock a tiny thong and feel so very sexy. And she is probably the sexiest I’ve seen in our studio, you can tell her inner dialogue is affirming and kind.

From these experiences I have learned that loving your body isn’t arriving at a fitness goal, it’s about acceptance and gratitude and giving myself re-affirming thoughts rather than destructive ones.